Writing a Condolence Letter

• Name the deceased and acknowledge the loss.

• Express your sympathy, using words that remind the bereaved that they are not alone in their feelings of sadness and loss.

• Avoid statements such as "I know how you feel" unless you truly empathize from prior personal experience.

• Note those special qualities or characteristics that you most cherished or appreciated about the deceased person.

• Recall a memory about the deceased and try to capture what it was about the person in the story that you admired. You may use humor - funny stories are often very appreciated by the bereaved. 

• Remind the bereaved of their personal strengths (patience, optimism, religious belief, resilience) that will help them to cope.

• Offer help during this difficult time and be specific about your offer. Do not make an offer that you cannot fulfill.

• End your letter with a phrase of sympathy: "You are in my thoughts" or "My fond respects to you and yours."

Adapted from PACT Code Card available on PACT website